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thirty and wise

I spent the last week celebrating turning thirty!

I ate cake, drank wine, and reminisced all the memories that have made the past thirty years so beautiful. Memories that have taught me valuable lessons that now have become my morals and my guide through life.

The thirty lessons that I am about to share with you are ones that I reflect upon daily to affirm that I am living a life that is aligned to my purpose and my happiness.


Embrace failure: to live a full life you must take risks, step outside of your comfort zone, try new things, set goals and reach them. But sometimes the biggest thing that holds you back from doing all this is the fear of failing, the what-ifs of everything that could go wrong. The fear of being mocked as incapable, as a loser, as stupid. Fear is so misunderstood, completely mislabeled, as a matter of fact, there should be nothing negative about fear. Only when you fail you discover your strengths and your weakness, and you reclaim the motivation to do even better next time. So embrace failure, because from your failures you'll be able to prove to yourself how strong you are.


Do it for yourself: don’t do anything for applause. The longest relationship you will ever have is with yourself, so always look out for what's best for you. The moment we begin to look for others to validate our actions, we begin to do things that may not align with our purpose. You owe it to yourself to become everything you can become. Live not to impress but rather to leave an impact. I promise you your presence will be felt.


Practice acceptance: welcome everything and everyone as-is, appreciate the beauty of it all. Accept instead of expecting, let go of what you think should be, and have faith that what will be, will be perfect for you.


Be grateful: before you ask for more, be thankful for what you have and who you have, including the imperfections. Practicing gratitude will change everything, you will begin to find happiness in every corner of your life, it will energize you and your heart will begin to grow (yes exactly like how Mr. Grinch’s heart grew).


Protect your energy: all living things and all objects are made up of little atoms constantly interacting with each other and emitting off energy. That energy is constantly interacting with the energy of others around you. Think about the time someone with a bad attitude walked into the room and how that made you feel or the time you caught a cold from someone. And as much as you are drawing energy from others, you are also emitting off your own. To protect your energy, learn to identify what energy you are emitting and receiving, what is yours and what belongs to someone else.

( energy can be exchanged through the way you speak, the way you feel, and how you treat one another).


Find stillness: life happens, and it will continue to happen every day at full speed and sometimes it’s painful. We shouldn't wait for it to calm down, rather find moments of calm, learn to quiet our mind, slow down our breathing, and ground ourselves for even a moment. Practicing this will allow you to learn to step away from situations that do not serve you, and emotions that cause pain. When you learn to find stillness in moments that do not serve you, you can separate yourself away from emotions and understand the situation with a clearer and calmer mind.


Fall in love with love: the ones that know me probably had already guessed that this would be on my list. I LOVE love like wholeheartedly love what love is all about. How can you not? Love is what drives us, love is the reason for our existence. Our purpose, our passion, our reason why we do what we do is provoked with some extent of love. The relationships we have in our life whether they be romantic, family or friendship are all fuelled by love. How could you not love love? I could go on forever about how much I love love but this list must go on, so perhaps sometimes soon I will come back to this one.


Drink your water: and get some sun, like the saying goes “you’re basically a houseplant with complicated emotions". So nourish your body so you can flourish.


Patience: is an action that demonstrates how strong you are to be able to stay calm and have faith in what will unfold. Patience will take you from a place of constantly being reactant to observant, patience will save you many moments of regret and anger. Once you start practicing patience you will begin to notice you respond with love and understanding and not anger. The best way to practice patience is to practice gratitude, they go hand in hand


Treat others the way you wanted to be treated: "don't treat them as bad as they are but as good you are", treat people well with respect and love and without any expectations. And if others do not treat you well know that this is a reflection of how they are as a person and not you. I am not saying stay quiet and allow someone to mistreat and disrespect you but just do not let it hurt your self-worth.


Dream: dreams give you wings, so keep dreaming


Network: everyone has something to offer, It doesn’t matter if you own a business, work a 9-5, or if you are a student or just stay at home. Get out there and meet people, you never know who could open up what door for you, or who you could serve. Be inspired by others, inspire others, and expand your knowledge. "Network not to only collect contacts but to create relationships", because sometimes it is not what you know, its who you know that could take you to where you need to be.


Forever be a student: continuously keep learning, the knowledge you collect can be used as a powerful tool to transform your life for the better. Learn about religions, philosophies, new technology or just even a new recipe. Like Albert Einstein has once said, “ once you stop learning, you start dying”.


Ask for help: stop thinking it’s you against the world, look around you’ll find so many that love and adore you and would do anything for you, but you just need to ask. And most importantly make sure you’re there to support them as well.


De-clutter: objects, people, habits and thoughts that do not serve you. Create room physically and mentally for new people, experiences and ideas to come. Create room for abundance, if the doorway to your life is blocked with mess nothing and no one will be able to enter. As my new hero, Marie Kondo says "the space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past", so clean up and make some space. Less is more!


Growth is not linear: the effort you put into your growth will equate to how much you will grow but you must consider several unstable variables, making this a very complicated equation. First and foremost acknowledge your timing for life will be different than the ones around you, acknowledge your progress without any comparisons. There will be external factors affecting your growth, all of them can not be changed but you do have control over how you react to them and allow them to impact your growth. Going back to my first lesson, embrace failure it'll make the journey so much easier. And lastly, have fun, growth isn't something that once you obtained it, it is yours forever, you need to constantly keep growing so just make sure you are having fun.


Respect your worth: do not devalue yourself, your time and presence are worth the value you put on it, it should not be defined by anyone else. Once you identify how incredibly valuable you are, you will begin to attract people into your life that value you just as much and effortlessly the ones that do not will disappear.


Be of service to others: “You have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others” - Maya Angelou. Be that superhero someone needs in their life. It can be something as small as opening the door for a stranger, telling someone you are grateful for them or even helping your mom around the house. These small acts of service are so impactful, first, you will transform their world and then they will be inspired to transform someone else's and before you know it, the world will become a better place.


Don’t be so rigid: be stubborn about your dreams, about your why, but be flexible about your approach. Life is constantly evolving, evolve with it, because what you need to become won't happen if you remain in your rigid thinking.


There’s no right or wrong: its just perspective, acknowledge everyone has a different life story than you, they process things differently than you, respect that and do not bring them down for their thinking. Do not bully them into thinking your way is the right away. The best and the hardest place to practice this is with your own family because we already assume that since we've been raised the same we should be able to agree upon the same things but truly that's, not the case. Practice acceptance to build up the courage to acknowledge that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, we are all allowed to perceive the same thing differently.


Be passionate: passion is an energy that flows from things that excite you, you can't fake it. Love and passion may be synonymous but passion is that oomph factor in love. The right amount of passion can arouse you to be fearless towards whatsoever your heart desires.


Be a "glow-getter": find yourself a skincare routine! Your skin is 90% of your selfie, with healthier skin you won't need any filters to follow you around. So repeat after me cleanse, exfoliate, spray toner, moisturizer, SPF and repeat........ side note if you're looking for a proper skincare routine then message me ;).


Smile: smile all day long, if you see someone without a smile, give them yours. Smiling is infectious, and it keeps you young so keep smiling on :)


Massage your feet daily: there are so many pressure points on the bottom of your feet that can help stimulate blood flow to the rest of your body, calm the mind, boost the immune system and aid digestion. Plus they carry your weight all day long so do show them a little love at the end of each day.


Journal your thoughts: do not judge, do not be afraid of them, they are neither wrong nor right, they are simply your thoughts. Journal them so you can separate yourself away from them. This will help you declutter your mind so you can create space for more thoughts that serve you. Sometimes when we coop things up they may manifest into other physical stresses on our bodies, (such as muscle pain, digestive issues, skin irritations) so let them escape.


Eat well: be kind to yourself when you eat, eat colourful meals, experience different flavours and spices, indulge once in a while without guilt. Listen to what your body craves, and respect what it can not tolerate. Eating well is a form of self-love.


Move your body: get your heart to beat a little faster, so the blood can flow a little more, so your organs are nourished and your metabolism doesn't slow down. Move not so you have the perfect body, but so you have a flowing, flexible, and pain free body.


Hold space for others: listen to them speak, feel their pain, hold their hand, and observe without judgements. Don't steal away their experience by comparing them to yourself and your experiences. Don't put them down for feeling a certain way, and if you plan to give them advice don't make them feel foolish if they decide not to follow it. Allow them to feel vulnerable and safe around you, just reassure them that it will all be okay.


Believe that the universe has your back: have faith that whatever you desire wholeheartedly, without fear, the universe will conspire to bring it to you.

Just trust and surrender.


And “before anything else, find yourself, be yourself and love yourself”

Life is precious, just love it for what it is.

Don’t be so rigid, be kind, be forgiving and be grateful.


These thirty lessons serve as my daily affirmations, my reminders to be better and do better. By no means do I follow them perfectly but each day I do forgive myself for the mistakes I have made and reflect upon how I can re-align with them a little better the following day.

Everyday I relentlessly strive for progress over perfection and practice courage to trust the unknown and myself.

Everyday I fall in love with life a little more.


Jessica Bugra

p.s. I hope my list of affirmations inspire you to create your own

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